9:17 PM i had another dream about him, but the last dream was more intimate. in this dream, my house was being reconstructed, and so i needed to move all my dolls out. outside my childhood house was this huge locker space, and i decided to put my dolls there. there were no more vacancies so i asked my friend, let's hide her under the name Mimi, if she could lend me her locker since it was empty. she said that she lent it to HIM first. i asked him if we could share the locker and he agreed. that midnight, i forgot that i left my bag on the corner street less than a kilometer from my childhood home. since the rain had just stopped, he told me that he would guide me since my eyes aren't so good and i might slip on the fresh rain. he held me from behind, holding my hand, until we got to the corner street.
why is it always that i dream of him holding him from behind?
[myself] i am small. i am weak. i am sad. i am scared. i am naive. i do not know what i
am feeling but this isn't the first time i've loved somebody dearly. everyone
knows about my first love but i'm keeping this present love to myself...and only
myself.
[disclaimer] i am writing this because i am guilty of the pleasure of loving him. the beauty of love can be seen through anonymous eyes. that's why i am writing this, because when i read my entries, i feel like i am not the one who made this.