8:45 PM okay..so i'm anonymously writing this blog. I have my own public blog but here..i find peace in writing stuff i hardly say.---First off..I had a dream last night..Though i'm not sure if it was a dream or just a simple longing or fantasy. I can't remember the whole dream, but as far as i could recall, he was hugging me..from behind, cuddling, touching my face and ruffling my hair as i do the same to him. Even though i can't remember the whole thing, i still do recall the lightness that i felt, the bittersweet pleasure that it meant.according to http://dreemoods.com To dream that you are hugging someone, symbolizes your loving and caring nature. You are holding someone or something close to your heart. Alternatively, it may indicate your need to be more affectionate. To dream that your friend is in love with you, may be one of wish fulfillment. Perhaps you have developed have developed feelings for your best friend and are wondering how he or she feels. You are so preoccupied with these thoughts that it is evitable that it find its way into your dreaming mind. On the other hand, the dream may also suggests that you have accepted certain qualities of your best best friend and incorporated into your own character. To dream that someone is smelling your hair, indicates sexual curiosity and your need for some sensual stimulation. You have a lot to learn about a relationship. The way yours or someone else's hair smell may remind your of a particular person. If you are reaching for someone else's hair, then it suggests that you are trying to connect with that person on a spiritual or intellectual level. It also refers to sympathy, protectiveness, and fraternal love.so i guess... i just need to be loved. He said he likes me.This isn't the first time that somebody told me that.But it still made an impact.He said it in a nice way, but a day after that, he said it in a naughty-boy way. He didn't say it directly, but it was just for fun. I like him. I don't know if I love him, but I like him. I love his touch, his cold hands, his nudges, his head and hair on my upper arm or shoulder. What more if he hugged me. He's warm. He's homey. I think it's the security I feel when I'm with him. I haven't told anybody that i like him yet. I've learned from my past mistakes. I'm telling you, nobody still knows. Even my friends...Nobody does...I need his attention. I know all his flaws, but still, he's ideal.I don't know why, but he's usually not my type or something... I hope, this never ends, or this ends, I don't want to get hurt again...silently. okay.so now i know how it feels to have his arm around me.so toasty. :)
Saturday, January 28, 2006
[myself] i am small. i am weak. i am sad. i am scared. i am naive. i do not know what i
am feeling but this isn't the first time i've loved somebody dearly. everyone
knows about my first love but i'm keeping this present love to myself...and only
myself.
[disclaimer] i am writing this because i am guilty of the pleasure of loving him. the beauty of love can be seen through anonymous eyes. that's why i am writing this, because when i read my entries, i feel like i am not the one who made this.